I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize