It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
