dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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