I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
