So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
