I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
