I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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