you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
