is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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