I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
