I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
