i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize