So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you would pick up someone in the library
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
this hospital has no fireball
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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