He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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