why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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