eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
