I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You are the jesus of drinking
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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