You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
