it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
