i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize