I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
