No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
