Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
