you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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