butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
