there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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