If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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