Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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