just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
