note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
