sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize