Already got asked if we're dating
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
