i already hear my dad disowning me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
