I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
