I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
