dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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