how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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