My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
