I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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