You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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