He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
