sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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