I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
