I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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