first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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