no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
