Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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