Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
