imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
