it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
