i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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