Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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