I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
