weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize