just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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