You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
