Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
