so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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